I myself was wondering when I would contribute another essay to my Substack. An easy excuse would have been to say that I had writer’s block, prohibiting me from placing my thoughts into words. Nothing could be further from the truth. Like conversation, I find writing to be an endeavor that requires a certain amount of fullness in the “emotion tank”, and various factors conspired to work against contributing to this Substack, which I had initially planned to fill with three or four essays per month. My intention with this post is as much therapeutic as it is done with the hope that there will something you, Dear Reader, can gleam as why you have not been productive.
Over the last few months my family has once again grown in size. As with any pregnancy, the husband can expect to see varying parts of the spectrum of a woman’s personality, and often multiple times on the same day. Combined with stress from my work life and an ever more precarious financial situation, I found that this absorbed the greater part of enthusiasm for writing. Most of my thoughts beyond familial and personal commitments were reserved for God. Looking back and reading into my own thoughts, I could easily interpret that as a kind of depression, and perhaps it was. I would say it was closer to a kind of burnout.
“You cannot give what you don’t have,” I once read. Since I did not have the energy or enthusiasm, I could not authentically pass on anything resembling wisdom given that I have not been able to live it. The past few months have told me that it is absolutely essential to ensure that the absolute basic needs of human life are properly held in balance with a particular focus on sleep and good nutrition. Again, it’s not groundbreaking, but I can assure that there won’t be any groundbreaking insights occurring if one is sleeping four hours a day and subsisting on burgers and fries. I believe it was Woody Allen who said, “ninety percent of success is showing up.” Countering that, I’d say it’s getting 8 hours of sleep and eating well. Then it’s praying for the grace to do well at whatever you do when you show up.
Cultivating friendships is also essential, whether it’s having a friend who can lend you a hundred bucks when you’re in a proverbial pickle or as a sounding board for whatever ails you. Camaraderie is difficult maintain as a married family man, but it’s an existential tightrope walk that is necessary to accomplish lest one whither on the proverbial vine. The family life and the life of fellowship with peers seem initially in opposition, but healthy relationships on both ends of the spectrum are necessary for maintaining health in the other. Isolation and obsession are on the other end of either. Pray for your friends. If you don’t have any, pray for grace of having friends. Then hold them close, and give whatever you can to give back to them.
Finally, be thankful for all the blessings in life, especially the smallest. Never lose the “wow!” factor of having a safe and dry place to sleep every night. The refrigerator in your kitchen, regardless how empty and dirty it may be is a wonder of the industrial age that lets you nourish yourself in all climes. And for the married men, never forget the blessing of a wife who had the trust to say “yes” to sinner like you.